Why is it so hard to be Nice?

Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious if it kills you.  ~Elsie de Wolfe

I’ve never really liked “reality TV,” but for a long time I didn’t really stop to think about why.  However, I’ve had some time to consider it lately as I’ve been sleeping poorly because of “reality life.”   I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because people aren’t nice to each other.  In fact, they are encouraged (by the producers, I guess) to be downright rude and mean.  After the week I’ve had (which is only 3 days over), I don’t need more of that kind of behavior, I need a WHOLE lot less!

Like many people I could stand to be a lot nicer myself. I’ve also been a lot more conscious of who I spend my time with because I’ve found it’s easier to BE nice when I’m with nice people (obvious, huh?).  But even with intense focus and concentration, I still have a hard time being nice to everyone, every day of the week.

It really helps to remind myself of how fortunate I am.  I am so very grateful for many things that others may take for granted (air conditioning being a BIG one).  Of course, it’s easier to have that “attitude of gratitude” if you’ve actually been without aforementioned AC. But then I went to see “Sex and the City 2” with some friends this weekend and I found myself getting snarky about their lack of gratitude for their privileged lives and their “ugly American” travel style.  In other words, I was being hateful about them not being nice….go figure!

As I continue on this journey to the Land of Nice, I’d be delighted to hear how you stay “sweet as pie” when the mud is being flung in your general direction.  And I promise to appreciate each and every comment.

1 Comment

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One response to “Why is it so hard to be Nice?

  1. Very ‘nice’ blog piece Jill. Its not always easy to put that smile on and there are days when I don’t do as well as other days. But I am reminded often by little nudges just when I need it. For instance, a couple of years ago, I was walking down a hallway on a particularly grueling day at the office. I was running late and a bit frazzled. I started to hurry and it struck me that I was frowning and rushing along. I had a moment of clarity when I thought “I am in charge and if I appear frazzled and rushed, others may lose confidence in me and my work” so I made a point to straighten my materials, slow my pace, put a friendly smile on and greet everyone I passed in the hall that day. You see, I was in charge of very special project at the time and it was quite complex at that point. I knew my attitude was going to be the driving force not just for me but for others too. But I didn’t realize how much until 2 months after the project launched. One day, I was walking down the same hall and passed a coworker. She stopped me and said; “You know Chris, I didn’t think that project would ever launch, and I was beginning to lose confidence in the team and the potential for success. I was about to ask to be pulled off the project when one day I saw you walking down the hall with confidence, an orderly stack of materials in your hands and a smile on your face. I knew then that if anyone could make it happen – you could. So thank you for that. It helped me alot.” You may wonder… what was the project? Launching the Verizon brand.

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